It’s been a year and half. While it’s gotten easier on some fronts it’s oh so much harder on others. The freezer is full of local meats, the chickens lay amazing eggs and the garden is planted and thriving. The orchard is bearing, the canning jars are waiting and I know what I’m doing this year.
The family, however, is wearing me down. When I started this journey I gave them mere months before staging their mutiny. It is here. But it’s not the mutiny I thought I would have. My kindergartner brings me home poems and school projects extolling the garden and my efforts to feed him healthy food. Yet he pines for McDonald’s and whines for lunchables (despite that they have always been taboo.)
The preschooler is tiring of pancakes yet won’t eat meat, legumes, most cheeses, yogurt, fruits, veggies or anything that we are eating. I’m exhausted trying to come up with foods that will sustain his exponential brain and organ growth at this stage using pure, local ingredients while cooking real food for the family and preparing the garden.
And then lately I’ve realized how soon the crush of the harvest will be upon me and have been trying to squeeze in charcuterie, cheesemaking, soapmaking, and lotionmaking to last us the summer. Apparently between that and my ever-constant fundraisers and volunteering it’s thrown my husband over the edge.
This was entirely my journey and I’ve been trying to make it seem as invisible to the family as possible. Somewhere the invisibility cloak slipped off and I never bothered to put it back on.
The tension in my household has been mounting but it came to a head this weekend. I’ve finally had to admit that I can’t do it all. I need a village, and readers, you are it. Unfortunately you aren’t here to help me make dinner or butcher rabbits or garden and nobody who is here wants to do that.
I’m finally beginning to accept that one person cannot do it all. In order for a family to truly live sustainably the whole family must pull their weight. Only my family is not up to this challenge. I’m not sure what this means for me. While I figure it out I am on strike.
My kitchen is closed and I’ve retreated to the sanctity of my garden. In the meantime I’ve made many trips to the store this week but I’ve become so alienated from the store I feel futile when I’m there. I’m quickly overwhelmed, buy 1 or 2 useless things and then leave. My goal is to buy things my family can prepare for themselves while I’m on strike. Over the course of 3 trips I managed to grab bread and tortillas. The kids picked Amy’s pizza snacks and yogurt squeezers. 3 trips and still no identifiable dinners.
I’m planning to head back tomorrow and buy lunch meat. Every time I pick up a package I’m filled with resistance and can’t manage to buy it. The prices are staggering, the ingredients are appalling and I just can’t force myself to put it in the cart. The products are completely foreign and, I might add, insane. Has the world gone mad?
Does it seriously take so long to make a stinking peanut butter and jelly sandwich that we need to buy something like this with it’s packaging and foot long ingredient list? People. Take 2 pieces of bread and spread them with peanut butter. Seriously. This is so Darwin it’s comical. Please, if you can’t figure out how to make a peanut butter sandwich, don’t breed. For the love of God.
My kitchen strike seems to be working. It came about during a complete dinner meltdown. I was in the throes of making dinner, whilst stopping to wipe bottoms, break up fights, answer the phone and door. Difficult enough when preparing dinner from packaged ingredients but add running out of things, meat still frozen, picking from the garden during cooking, thinking you had jars of beef bone broth which turned out to be crab stock (crab/steak pho, anyone?) and not having the pantry accessible because it’s down through the man lair and the man suddenly has an important phone call at 6:15 pm that you need to keep the kids completely silent for. In come the kids whining they need a snack now or they will positively DIE. Noses turn up at what is cooking for dinner, whining and tantrums ensue…
If no one is going to help and everyone is going to complain I’m done. I closed the kitchen, poured some wine and put on pajamas.
Here is my stand. I’m not sure what the resolution will be but I’m taking a little breather. I do know that they will appreciate me more for it eventually. Until then you can find me in the garden, drinking wine and wearing pajamas. On strike.
I’ve been following your blog for a couple months now, and the number of things you do impresses me. I also have packed a lot of vegetable & fruit growing into my yard.
Although this won’t help much with the food rebellion, I’d like to recommend a couple of products/family businesses for soaps, etc. They may not be local, but they use great ingredients. (I tend to by a year’s worth at a time.)
Soaps: http://www.sallyeander.com – read what they have to say about “Why We’re Different.”
I buy lip balm from http://www.blackhillshoneyfarm.com – I’m *really* fussy about lip balm, and theirs rocks.
Both of these sell lotions and other body products, though I haven’t tried them. If they’re anything like the soaps/lip balms, they’re very good.
Sometimes, it really *is* nice to buy things made by other people!
I too have these problems. My three children are also resentful of good food. We like to chime in “Well, one day you’ll really miss all this home cooking.” To keep the peace and in hopes that when they’re at a friends they don’t make complete pigs of themselves over Junky foods, we make small purchases for them of garbage. Why? It keeps the peace and they still feel like somewhat normal teens. Its hard. We don’t pipe in TV so the commercial/media aspect doesn’t haunts us but the pressure to fit in in high school/middle school is there and so we cave. Butchering, hauling manuer, sheering, gathering, endless weeding, all that is mine to do with a full time job as a teacher. I use the miserable garden chores and animal chores as punishment for bad behaviour or as extra allowence pay. But then again my children are a lot older. So, just hang in there, a small bit of trashy food is OK. Walk the middle road but try ever so gently to pull them over to your side of the road. Good luck, keep your head up and you’ll find your way eventually with some help from the crew even if it’s because they we very naughty and it’s punishment for them.
PS. Mommy strikes are powerful tools. Be sure to hold your ground and always send the children to their daddy for ANY of their needs. I’ve done this with great results and I have a more helpful husband. It becomes very apparent very quickly how much YOU do. My husband does do a lot more than he used to. He is also very willing to “crack the whip” when chores need to be done and the children need to move. They’re really good as sitting and then making themselves scarce when work starts to piles up.
I feel your pain! My son likes the idea of eating healthy but wants convenience, my SO wants frozen pizzas for dinner most nights because he refuses to eat “that” and my Dad just looks at me weird when I suggest something healthy and homemade. It’s frustrating but I keep chanting to myself “one day they will value this”
The one flaw in your plan is you are still shopping. Make no comment as to what he purchases just don’t shop yourself. Let him figure it out on his own.
As for the kids whining. Ignore it. They aren’t truly hungry. Like my Grandfather used to say, “You gotta get them shit out once in a while.” Meaning, let them go hungry, they will eat anything then and call it good. Cook for yourself and make what you enjoy. They are welcome to eat it or go without. Kids are born to complain and try to lay guilt trips on Mom. Moms job is to let the whine fall on deaf ears. I’ve raised five to adult hood. It was a hard lesson to learn.
What is up with the family, woman?
I will say I know my husband has a thing about mess…and believe me I can be quite a slob when I am making x, y or z (or all three simultaneously) but he and my daughter are nothing if not supportive.
That said, I don’t do it all by myself. My daughter (6) has a hand in most of the things I do…mostly because she is simply a helpful person but also because I give her no choice. Likewise, the husband HAS to pull his weight with things or it’s chaos. And yes, I can be quite a meanie at times but it’s ALL not on me. They have jobs that they are obliged to do (setting/clearing the table, fixing the lunchbox, taking out the compost, feeding some of the animals, getting the eggs) that, if they’re not done, they don’t get done. And then it’s a mess.
You’ve done quite an amazing job so quickly, Ms A, but I have noticed you’re often trying to duplicate what you’ve found at the grocery store. Maybe that’s a bad model! You’re not going to make Lunchables or crustless sandwiches and you really shouldn’t be. But finding a decent butcher from whom to buy your sausages/lunch meat, from scaling back and cooking a few less days a week (and relying on leftovers or quickly reheated homemade meals from the freezer) and relying on the one weekly trip to the farmer’s market and the one short! trip to the store for milk/cheese, you probably can still have your way.
I don’t know if that helps you, as you’re great at what you do…but discuss it more with your husband about what his expectations are. I find most of our marital fights are when our eyes aren’t on the same prize.
I accidentally deleted a sentence in my post. I meant to state that you need to make your husband do the shopping.
You go girl! Been there, done that. Happens periodically when I start over committing myself AND concurrently my family starts feeling sorry for themselves because they do not live the standard american lifestyle they believe they should – based on tv shows and what friends are doing.
So I let them shift for themselves for mroe than a week. The frozen dinners and junk get’s old really really fast and soon I get an apology and request to :please please make us some real food”.
I must say though that you really do tackle a great deal of things and it really is no wonder you were vulnerable to the meltdown. I would like to suggest you consider paring the tasks down to the core important ones and let some of the other items go until you have more time to spare (like when you are retired?!).
I agree with Sheila Z. I wouldn’t change your shopping or cooking habits. But if your husband puts in the effort to buy and cook something you would not make, let him be. It wont take long before they all are more onboard.
I’m not even going to try to give advice. I completely understand where you’re coming from, and I’m sorry. You’re right- we CAN’T do it alone. Part of going back to an earlier way of doing things means that the entire family needs to take on “old” roles- the kids need chores, the husband needs a role. There are many, many days I wonder “Why do I bother? No one but me cares enough to work on this. None of my friends even try, why do I care so much?” It’s a tough one, and I’m sorry….but enjoy your strike. I’m a little, teensy bit, jealous. (minus the wine, of course
BUT, all that said….there’s a goodly number of us who ARE here. Do you think it would lighten the load if we all got together to do a big project to share, like canning or soap making? I’m sure there are enough of us here with these skills that it could be a help, and not a “how to” session. Or maybe a how-to session would even be better than doing it alone?
Oh, and for what it’s worth (misery loves company??) my almost-five-year-old pretty much lives on bread, cheese, and milk right now. Maybe some tuna fish if I’m feeling fancy. She’ll eat white rice if it accompanies dinner. We give her a bite of dinner on her plate, which always draws loud complaints, and then she eats bread and butter. (OK, and if there are strawberries or cucumbers or other fruits, she’ll eat pounds.) Good luck.
Sorry you are having a rough time. Gardening usually helps me sort through things, hopefully it will for you as well. It’s a nice week to be out in the garden. Hang in there!
After finding this blog earlier in the year and having my jaw drop at everything you’re doing, I have to say I’m surprised you held out this long.
The goal of eating sustainably is a noble one, but equally important, if not more so, is moving towards that goal in a sustainable way!
I appreciate all you’re doing — it gives readers inspiration and ideas on steps they can take on this path, whether small or large. But support is crucial to these efforts — I’m sure you’ll get the family on board once they really come to appreciate everything you’re doing for them.
I have to agree with Sheila’s comments “Cook for yourself and make what you enjoy. They are welcome to eat it or go without” When they are hungry enough they will eat it. When my kids were little if I gave them snacks during the day, they were never really hungry for dinner so I stopped giving them snacks. My big kids now still whine about having the same food over and over —they have to have salmon 2 X a week, I vary the preparation but I tell them when they grow up they can make whatever meals they want for themselves. I try to follow what Sheila wrote: Moms job is to let the whine fall on deaf ears. And sometimes the whining really wears me out but that is what kids do and I don’t cave in to the whining. Hang in there, you are an inspiration to so many of us and I really value what you are doing. Keep doing what you love to do and cooking what you love to eat.
I don’t have kids. I don’t have any helpful advice on the kids front. Frankly, it makes me want to have kids even LESS, if such a thing is possible and we’re being perfectly honest here. Which I try to be.
But you? You’re a superhero. You’re trying to make your own little world a better place, even if it sometimes turns on you and whines for processed snacks. I think you’re entitled to a strike, and I hope it works. It sounds like the other moms in here know what’s up in the mommy strike department, so you just keep at it. I absolutely think you’re doing the right thing by your family, and I know from my own experience that they’ll realize it later on.
And while we’re being perfectly honest here, your husband needs to get in on this and support you if he’s not already. His participation is just as important if the kids are going to get the message. Even if he doesn’t believe it himself, the fact that it’s important to you is enough.
Keep at it. You’re certainly not alone in the fight.
(And I agree with you about the premade PB&J)
Oh Annette, I want to drink wine and garden with you!
What you are doing is not only GREAT for your family, but you are also SUCH AN INSPIRATION to the community that reads your blog!
I don’t have any kids, so I’m not going to try to give you any advice there, but I know that you can’t do this alone. You can do a ton, and you have!! You’re ambition and energy are amazing, but you need your husband’s support. If you both are on the same team you’d feel more balanced.
I’m really ambitious too. I’m working 32 hours a week at work, Tyler and I have a part-time seasonal business making and selling planters, we’ve converted most of our yard to growing space for food, we’re planning our wedding for this summer, we’ve got about four home improvement projects started at various stages and we like to have adventures.
Knowing you through the internet helps keep me going. We attempted our first charcuterie because of your post about making bacon and ham. We’re going to get a pig from Ebey farms and do more. I love learning what you’re up to through your blog.
Keep up the great work. You’ve got many supporters and you’re inspiring and teaching a lot of people through your blog. You’re helping to educate and make a difference! Enjoy the sun and I’ll raise a glass to you this weekend.
You may feel unsupported at home, but there’s a lot of support for you here! I was actually just thinking about you yesterday – I made the rhubarb custard pie (except I was too lazy to do the pie crust, and cooked it in ramekins instead), and I was thinking about how it was nice to have a little dessert splurge once in a while, but that it was nice that I didn’t have to go through the trouble of cooking things other people would like. I mean, since I’m the only one I’m cooking for, I can get away with skipping the crackers and other things that I see as more labor-intensive and that I would only be making for somebody else’s sake.
Anyway, I agree with all the posters – enjoy your strike, take care of yourself for a little while. While things have cooled down a bit, sit down with your husband and ask him where he’s pitching in already and if there’s anything more he thinks he can do. I bet he’s a reasonable guy and he realizes that this is not just a project to you, it’s a lifestyle, and it’s a GOOD one, too. Maybe it would be different if your strongly held belief was that your kids should always be wearing aluminum hats to protect them from alien rays or something – I guess what I’m saying is that what you’re doing is both real to you AND reasonable to the rest of the world, and those are good building blocks. I hope they get on board soon!
oh my goodness…GOOD. FOR. YOU. Seriously. If my oldest wasn’t three, I might join you. (because her idea of “getting a snack” involves teacups full of air, and munching on crumbs found under the kitchen table.)
Sustainable Eats or not, I think a lot of moms go through what you’re going through….and sometimes a strike is just what the dr. ordered.
Go you! Strike isn’t such a bad thing. And, I am sorry this is so difficult.
You have taken on a TON and you are right- you can’t do it alone. Well, maybe Martha Stewart and her less than 4 hours of sleep (and large support staff) could. But that isn’t human and it certainly isn’t real life.
From what I can tell you have learned and done a whole lot of really cool things and what you are doing is awesome.
And- you will find a way to navigate it all. Fortunately you have the skills and knowledge to be able to make choices on what you want to spend your time/energy on doing yourself and the ability to source other items from local companies or people you feel good about supporting.
You might not be able to make it all yourself AND have the whole family happy. But you can probably make the things that bring you the most joy and seem the most important to you personally and then source the other items from local folks that are also likely struggling with it all.
You are so right about the uncrustables. Seriously? Could there be a more ridiculous product?! And, get this–they serve them at my work. A cancer center for fuck’s sake! Don’t get me started on that!!
The kids will eat if their hungry….and from what i can tell they have food binge periods– the babylady currently would eat a diet solely of blueberries, strawberries, lil mama’s peppers and salsa if she was picking. It all evens out eventually.
Meanwhile…hang in there! Enjoy your lovely garden, the sunny skies and some relaxing time with a bottle of wine.
And, most definitely smirk (at least inwardly!) when the family can’t sort it out alone.
Dear Annette,
It would seem with EVERYTHING you do that eating in a sustainable way is not just one that is sustaining the earth but also for you. That absolutely doesn’t have to mean that you compromise your goals in any way, but look for ways to give yourself a bit of a break now and then. You really are almost superhuman in your activities and maybe some days you could just be human. Its hard to do that, I know. But balance is a good thing. I love some of the ideas already given about places and things that could make it easier, but still not being part of the problem. There are some incredible local artisans around here that you could occasionally buy things from when you just have other things to do. The important thing is that you are personally living in a way that is sustainable for you too… for your personal well being. The strike is probably a well deserved one and use this time to sort out what you can and can’t continue doing with a house full of not-so-supportive boys (I live in one too).
Good luck! We are all here for you.
In an age when children may not outlive their parents due to the food they are consuming is a scary thing. Know that your children and husband are healthier because of the food you grow and provide for them.
I find joy in nurturing my gardens and they produce an amazing amount of food, and it is disappointing when my family doesn’t always enjoy it with me. I appreciate what you have done for us urban gardeners and wish you a successful resolution.
It is SOOOO tough when you have a family that is unsupportive! Especially when they’re in school and see what the other kids are eating, plus then there’s snacktime where every other parent brings in total JUNK on their days. (My son is allergic to gluten, though, so we *thankfully* get to opt out and he brings his own!) I give the kids their own garden patch where they get to pick what they plant…and this gets them involved and excited about what I’m growing too (and they don’t have a choice). Don’t be so tough on yourself…my son, who is just 8, has now been assigned to cooking dinner once a week where he has to do all the planning and get it “approved by mom.” I just help him enough so that he doesn’t chop his fingers off or start himself on fire. You are the mom and the best thing about it is that you ARE allowed to delegate (and there are equal consequences if they choose not to do their part.) Give yoruself regular breaks every week (we pretty much only eat leftovers every Saturday), enjoy your strike and have another glass of wine!
I think you are my long lost twin. Our fore-mothers didn’t do it all and neither can we. They didn’t have to deal with modern life AND raise food, cook, make soap and candles, sew…
I have to remember to schedule my priorities and NOT prioritize my schedule.
I hope things work out!
I am so with you. Except I have older kids. It’s a tough tough situation sometimes. I so envy the people who say their kids LOVE water and dairy kefir or who slurp up homemade yogurt by the gallons, or love their dehydrated granola. I seem to be the only one eating it. I’ve been in strike mode myself before. It doesn’t last long though because I LOVE the food I make. So I make what makes me happy and feel nourished – if they want some, fine – if not, well….
Annette-
I’m always so impressed by you, and continue to be! What, you and your family are human, and not food superheroes? I guess that there is hope for the rest of us, then.
I don’t have any great words of wisdom, but I often fall back on Ellen Satter’s words in”Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense: “Parents are responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding. Children [and perhaps husbands, too?] are responsible for the how much and whether of eating.” When I reflect on that, I feel like it often takes some of the burden off my shoulders.
Keep up with your strike – and you do have a virtual community out there!
Oh I am so sorry. I hear you. And I agree on the ignoring the whining and letting them be hungry. I have done it with my youngest. I have a hard time ignoring the whining. But when we put dinner on the table, they have to eat three bites of everything before they can have seconds or leave the table. And I have buckled them in until they do it. And they keep having those three bites until eventually they have decided to like most everything. But my husband does a large share of the cooking and he is very supportive of my growing vegetables and all the work I do. And I have learned to scale back – as much as I want to accomplish, as a Mom there is only so much time in the day. You have to take care of yourself first and then everyone else. Go on strike, let them figure it out. And I think the Applegate uncured ham deli sandwich meat (packaged) at PCC is really good. Not tons of ingredients. Expensive yes, but only for a few sandwiches a week. Hang in there!
Dear Annette,
I read this post first, then all the comments and the whole post again, and what I have to say may not be what you’d like to hear but here it goes…
I discovered your blog about a year ago and absolutely loved it. It was the only blog I’d read. But then you started talking about keeping bees, a mini goat, rabbits, etc., volunteering here and there, garden tours… And I just couldn’t help thinking how the heck is she going to manage?
Having a mini farm on a small lot in the city sounds a bit insane, doesn’t it? It may be feasible but at what cost? Your marriage? Your sanity? Your health?
Your husband needs wife time. Your kids need mommy time. And you need time to sleep, unplug and relax.
How about just making a little cheese now and then, buying raw honey from a local beekeeper/apiary and paying someone else to raise rabbits for you on their property?
How about letting the kids eat store-bought crap three days a week if they agree to eating your wholesome food the rest of the week?
How about prioritizing? If gardening and preserving are fundamental then all other projects need to be cut back/set aside so that you can stop running around like a maniac 20 hours a day.
“This was entirely my journey and I’ve been trying to make it seem as invisible to the family as possible. Somewhere the invisibility cloak slipped off and I never bothered to put it back on.”
Well, what you envisioned could never be one person’s journey.
Many times I sat here thinking how I would feel if I had to live your life even for just a couple of weeks. I’d be exhausted, cranky, unhappy. How would my husband feel if I often had to stay up until two o’clock in the morning preserving something?
You are making great memories for your kids and I am sure they will always be immensely grateful and proud of you but you need to slow down to be able to savor these years, you know.
Love,
Auburn
It has to be incredibly hard to have such a huge goal in mind and not have the complete support of your family. I don’t blame you for striking! I would in your position too! I tend to have a hard time finding balance with my life when I get passionate about a project. Maybe buying a few premade items from farmer’s markets will help take a bit of pressure off of you? Maybe some locally made bread, cookies, crackers, etc would help?
Sending you calm thoughts and a big pat on the back!
I know I just found your blog and I am only starting out on my journey here but I thought what the heck I’ll give my opinion. If I were you I wouldn’t let them “fend for themselves”. I think it is a mom/wife’s job to take care of the family. What I would do is still make the good healthy food and if they don’t want to eat it they can have a glass of milk or water. Make a big batch of pizza crust and do several different kinds of “frozen pizza”. You don’t have to make them filled with veggies either put cheese and fresh pork sausage on them. What kid/man doesn’t like pizza? This way you can have a break for a few days but the family will still be eating healthy. Or make taco pizza with cheddar and ground beef, yum. My husband is a very simple eater and whenever I make what I think is an awesome homemade gourmet meal he doesn’t like it. So I have come to the conclusion it is just easier to KISS “keep it simple stupid”
He likes carrot sticks and tacos and mac and cheese and ham sandwiches all of which I can make healthy so thats what I make most of the time.
The more I read your blog the more amazed I am at all you do. I can see how it could become overwhelming especially with young kids. But on the bright side your kids are young and if you continue as they grow they will become accustomed to the healthy foods and will be able to help more. BTW I dont’ think chores should be punishment or paid for with allowance. Chores are just what mommy and daddy tell kids to do and they do it because mommy said so. NO questions. Kids are part of the family and they need to do their part, but like I said yours are pretty young so they can’t do too much yet
HUGS Good for you on the strike. You are a very amazing person and are doing inspiring things. Hang in there. I am confident that you will find a way to make things work for you and your family.
Can I join you in the garden, with the wine, in the pajamas? (Sounds like a winning answer to Clue.)
I think we have all been there and I’ve got to give it to you—you’ve succeeded in a lot more before Going On Strike than I have yet to be able to.
Creating from scratch is addictive and I completely identify with the desire to make your own soap, cheese, etc.
Even while you are On Strike I find myself looking up to you and your accomplishments and hope one day to be able to achieve a fraction of them.
Enjoy the wine, enjoy spring. They’ll figure it out and things will pick back up and perhaps a more gentle pace.
Wow I’ve been totally blown away by the caring and wisdom in these comments. I’ve read and re-read them on my iPhone the last few days since I haven’t had much computer time.
Here’s what I’ve been doing: going to bed on time (mostly), reading gardening books, working on my irrigation system so I don’t spend the summer watering, playing teeball, working out and marveling at how sturdily and quickly seedlings can grow once the sun consistently shines. Not always in pjs but occasionally. It’s been lovely. My husband has totally stepped up, Pickle Man has gone out of his way to thank me for the nourishing foods that we did have in the freezer (whole wheat pizza dough, home canned tomato sauce, bratwurst, bacon, apple fruit leather, backyard eggs and spring salads with fresh peas) and Pancake Man has discovered processed foods.
I’m 2 for 3. Now he knows about pizza snacks and canned Bernie-o’s so we’ll see if I can use that to my advantage. I’m taking some “me” time this weekend and then I think my strike may just about be over as we head into next week. The boys are concerned there will be no birthday cake for my husband on Monday and we can’t have that. ;p
I have promised though to hold off on the meat rabbits and mini goats, at least until next year. In the meantime Brad of Abundant Acres has offered to raise rabbits and ducks for me, Shawndra of Pastured Sensations is raising chickens for me and I’ll continue to buy goat milk from Marcia at St. John’s for fresh chevre. I talked my neighbor into getting honey bees to pollinate my orchard and our mason bees are buzzing around as happy as can bee.
In the meantime I have a large quantity of ricotta salata and tomme aging nicely…but my soap looks like the inside of a baby ruth bar. More on those soon.
xo, to you all! Annette
Oh Annette, I’m so sorry! Sounds like you are going through a really tough time. You are an incredible woman, though, and I know you will figure things out for you and your family.
Thinking of you…
I recommend regular strikes myself – maybe one night a week. I don’t really know how you are getting done so much as it is. When you are not on strike, prepare one meal and put it on the table. If it doesn’t get eaten, that would be their problem. You are not a restaurant. And don’t give into the requests for junk whether they come the little ones or the big one. Cook’s privilege. Remember to cut yourself some slack.
Look at your village rallying around you! Seriously, I don’t know anyone who DOES as much as you do. Give yourself a big break!
I’m reading City Farm, and I think I could almost off a rabbit without throwing up – you know, if the time comes.
I took a vert gardening class with Kaarina this morning. If I’m not working, maybe I’ll pop over when she comes to see you harvest.
You’re amazing! You deserve a small strike!
Thanks Ladies! LeAnn I’m done being a restaurant. The boys just got their dad Mario Kart for the wii for his birthday (a dream come true my 6.5 told him his present would be…) so I plan to use any electronics use as a reward for eating meals for my 3.5 year old. His brother eats with gusto.
Tiffany that was an interesting book but my little Stepford neighborhood is nothing like her gritty urban farming. My husband went to high school with her so my MIL bought me that book last year. It’s been fun to track her progress. Did you know I’m organizing a rabbit processing class the first Sat in June?
My husband is adamant no rabbits this year so I’ll be buying them live from a local farmer.
I’ve got my meat pushers now.
Oh I reallllly enjoyed reading this post! I just recently went on strike myself much to the dismay of my husband and friends. I’m a nut soaker, how can I possibly fill the freezer with ” prepared food” from Trader Joes? I’ll tell you how! It’s easy to do when I’m just plain worn out with 2 kids and too much to do. I especially enjoyed reading about you having to run out to the garden to harvest more of something — this is me! ME!
Thank you so much for this post. We really are human after all.
Off to pick peas and defrost a homegrown rooster. I’m sick of the packaged crap! Darn.
(except for the veggie pot stickers, those I want more of!)
I posted recently about trying to achieve gardening zen. I was feeling many of the stresses and strains that you have been, although I don’t attempt to do nearly as much as you have, and had to tell myself to slow down and enjoy what I am doing, in the moment, more without worry about all the other things I still need to do. Sounds like the strike is something you needed to gain more balance for yourself.
Erin, at least you aren’t having to run out and off the rooster for dinner – lucky you are so organized he’s already plucked and frozen. ;p Pot stickers – I should have thought to get some of those!
Sandy, you are smart to know your limits. I wait until I hit the brick wall first and then say “oh, I guess that’s a limit.” I’m looking forward to enjoying this summer more and canning less than I did last year. Lacto fermentation, here I come! I’m hoping we can organize some monster can sessions at a local community kitchen as well so we can all make light work of a truckload of tomatoes together. At least it will be fun!
Annette,
I can relate! My local friends and I have actually talked about this same issue many times. You know, even back in the day our ancestors didn’t do it all themselves. They not only relied on family but on community. Grains were milled in town, eggs were bought down the road and bartering was a means to let someone else do some of the work. It’s today with the new kitchen gadgets and Nourishing Traditions that we think we can do it all. But as we all have realized, we can’t. It’s impossible and only creates tension and neglect towards our family. The family we are trying so hard to nourish. I’ve posted many times about this and agree with many of the people here. If we’re eating well on a regular basis, our bodies are capable of removing toxins that processed/fast food create. I’m an urban homesteader, a part time web design instructor, mother, and wife… whew… you better believe Pizza Hut makes it’s way into my home. Do I feel crappy about it.. nah! I load the kids up on ferments the day after
One thing I have found helpful is establishing a group of local mama’s that can help each other out. We do this by a means of a freezer meal group. When I don’t have time, I know their is a wholesome frozen meal waiting for my family. Check it out…
http://spaininiowa.blogspot.com/2010/01/freezer-meal-bee-gathering.html
It’s not only beneficial to my family but such a great way to fellowship with other woman.
Wishing you the best Annette! Take care of yourself
xoxo,
diana
Diana,
This is great! I wish I had a bigger kitchen. I was envisioning a meal swap where we prepare at home and come together with our big pot of thing and personal size dishes to freeze then all dole things out together. It might be more efficient than cooking. I just had a huge time consuming dinner flop and no fall back plan (derp) so I just may put the call out for this soon – thanks for sharing!
I agree with Diana, our families didn’t do it their selves they lived close together and depended on extended family to help take care of the kids while they worked in the garden and canned. Only in the past 50 years has it came into fashion to move away from our family. I am all for living with a multigenerational household, and doing my best to talk the rest of the family into moving closer together and working on our family farm. By the way I just found your blog and love it!
Lacy
Hi Lacy, I know in my heart you guys are right, I just have a hard time giving in. Even when I was emotionally blocked in the kitchen and wanted to buy crummy food at the store I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. What tickled me pink is that my oldest didn’t even like most of it! They’ve tired of the breakfast cereal, didn’t like the tater tots and the newness of the pizza snacks has worn off. I just need to find those few products that I feel ok buying. Once I figure out which ones they are. I’m so glad you found your way here!
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