My strike is over. I kind of milked it towards the end but I can tell my husband is feeling strained and I just can’t keep buying what the grocery store is selling. Wow are those prices crazy after nearly 18 months of not paying them! I spent more on food in the last 8 days than I normally would in well over a month.
While I enjoyed working in the garden, it’s hard for me to stay out of the kitchen. I really enjoy eating and cooking. Food is very intimate to me – it’s how I communicate with others, profess my love and define myself. In the absence of good food I feel un-anchored, unsettled and alone.
This is not to say that I am a comfort eater. On the contrary, I feel that life is too short to eat mediocre food. One week of eating for convenience and subsistence rather than enjoyment and celebration of seasonal foods was all I could take. Good food is my medium, I work in flavors. And so I’ve swapped my jammies for my apron and am back at the helm. I feel like I’ve got some making up for lost time. I am, however, keeping my slippers on to remind me not to overdo it.
What I found absolutely fascinating last week was my children’s responses.
My oldest, who attends public school and remembers the joys of a McDonald’s happy meal, is the one who pines the loudest for things I no longer buy. When he realized he was able to choose snack and convenience foods at the store the first thing he said was “This is GREAT!” He enjoyed the independence of being able to open a box of crackers and eating them all without fear that I wouldn’t make more for another month, or pour himself a bowl of cold cereal in the morning.
Of course since he had gotten the inch he wanted the mile. He whined relentlessly for lunchables, the mother of all taboo products to me. I’ve made my own version of Lunchables for the kids before, using cookie cutters to cut lunch meat, bread and cheese into shapes they could use to build their own sandwiches. I’ve gone so far as to cut out cheese wheels and provide toothpicks and veggies in shapes so they could build edible cars. We have fun bento boxes, rice molds and little tiny soy sauce bottles. I’m the Queen of fun lunches. But somehow nothing I can make can compete with the lure of the Lunchable.
He persisted with whining and pining for days over Lunchables. We’ve watched Jamie Oliver together and when Jamie lambasted Lunchables I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. I could tell the message had gotten through – if Jamie Oliver reviled Lunchables then there must be something seriously wrong with them because, after all, Jamie Oliver is not his mom. Which makes him important. Yet somehow he could not let go the Lunchable.
For days we discussed how bad the chemicals were, how evil the packaging is on the environment, how giving our money to people who would create such a product and shamelessly market them at kids was like supporting “bad guys”. I showed him how long the ingredient list was and that it contained a longer list of ingredients that we, as non-chemists, could not buy at the grocery store than items which we could. He couldn’t explain his longing – in fact need – for this product which he fully admitted was wrong on all fronts. He just knew he had to have it.
So we decided that once, and only once, he could use some of his own money and buy a Lunchable. While we were birthday shopping for my husband at Target he got to pick out his Lunchable. He agonized for 20 minutes over which one to buy. He finally chose the sub sandwich. It contained a tiny submarine style bun with lunch meat, cheese, a mayo packet, a water bottle, an interactive packet of Koolaid to add to the water, and a small bag with 3 vanilla wafers. He insisted on holding it the car ride home.
Pancake Boy, who won’t eat any kind of meat save bacon, eyed it longingly. “I wish I had one” he said. I reminded him that he wouldn’t try lunch meat. “Well I like THAT kind of lunch meat.” he replied. The lure of the Lunchable is so strong it crosses all barriers. Even preschoolers who have never seen commercials or kids eating lunchables at school covet them. That’s some amazing marketing.
Once we got home the neighborhood kids were all out playing together. Pickle Man sprinted his prize into the house and asked if he could eat it for dinner. Right now. “Don’t you want to play with everyone?” I asked. “After my Lunchable.” He replied. With trembling hands he opened the box and carefully laid out it’s contents. Pancake Boy stood by taking it all in.
Once the color-less Koolaid powder hit the water it turned an instant cherry red. “OOH!” shouted Pancake Boy. “What kind of water is that? Red?” “It’s Cherry.” said Pickle Man. “I like THAT kind of cherry.” said Pancake Boy, who has previously refused to try any kind of fruit in any form.
In the meantime my husband had made grilled cheese sandwiches for the rest of us for dinner since I was on strike. A knock on the door interrupted the Lunchable worship. A neighbor boy wanted to know if Pickle Man could play. He froze, unsure what to say. He knew I didn’t approve of the Lunchable so he didn’t want to mention it to an outsider. “When I finish my dinner” he finally mustered.
Five minutes later he had eaten the entire thing and ran out to play after licking the last of the spilled Koolaid powder off the table. He returned home 15 minutes later begging for a grilled cheese sandwich. For all the glorious things the Lunchable was to him, it was not filling. He then proceeded to eat a regular sized meal.
Pancake Boy has been interesting to watch in the last week as well. Extraordinarily picky, he won’t try new things. He will eat bacon, pancakes, occasional scrambled eggs, sometimes cheese quesadillas, pepperoni pizza and, only recently, grilled cheese sandwiches but not consistently. He also eats oatmeal with brown sugar and just recently decided that apple fruit leather is ok. That’s his entire diet, washed down with large quantities of milk.
Despite all our attempts to coax him into trying anything new he will not budge. There is no forcing him to try a “no thank you” bite of anything, no matter what bribe you have to offer. Yet somehow he walked down those grocery store aisles and pointed to boxes of all manner of things saying “Yummy, I like that.” At one point he was pointing to a picture of someone holding roasted coffee beans saying “Yummy.”
I cannot begin to communicate my frustration with this child for his complete unwillingness to try new foods, or even consistently eat foods that he has previously enjoyed. He is the reason for my dinner meltdowns more often than not. I’ve been playing short order chef because he is so stubborn he won’t eat for days (in fact he went to bed without dinner tonight because he wouldn’t eat anything.) We are but 7 weeks away from his annual checkup and he has only gained 1 pound in the last year.
Last week, however, he added a large number of new things to his diet – pizza snacks, breakfast cereal, and chicken fingers. Just the fact that he was willing to try new things speaks volume. I’m just not sure what it says. But I can tell you that I’m saving packages. We’ll see if he is so willing to try new things when it’s something I’ve cooked and put into a package.
In the meantime I’ve made chocolate cake, homemade ice cream using mint from the garden, Swedish pancakes, stir fry, chevre, bread and beef jerky in the last few days. I feel centered once more.
But it is reassuring to know that if I get trapped on the phone or in the garden I have a bag of tortillas I can turn into burritos in minutes or roll into lunch meat wraps to send to school in the morning. This whole thing has proven to me that something has to give so I’ve agreed to hold off on the meat rabbits and pressed cheeses for now too.
I treasure all the concerned comments and nuggets of wisdom you left me during my strike. I think perhaps a garden wine/grape juice session in June is in order. And Myrnie, I love your idea of making things as a group, like a wine or book club but way cooler.
One last thing before I forget and then I’m done volunteering for the summer – this Thursday night I’ll be speaking at the Sustainable NE Seattle monthly meeting about commitment to real food and this Sunday I’m on the Sustainable NE Seattle edible garden tour from 11 to 5. If you didn’t have a chance to make the last garden tour I hope you’ll come on Sunday. I’m the one at 5710 NE 56th St.
Thanks so much for being my village!
16 responses so far ↓
1 kitsapFG // May 18, 2010 at 6:02 am
Your little ones are indeed giving you a hard time with this. I too am astounded at the power of marketing to enthrall and entrap kids (many adults too). How is it really possible to compete with those corporate mega budgets of advertising? I was really fortunate that my daughter actually seemed generally content to eat just about anything I set before her – only needing an occassional fix of junk to be happy. I did not fight it because it really was only occassional and while she savored them she was fast to recognize how old the “treat food’ became in a hurry.
2 Auburn // May 18, 2010 at 7:08 am
Annette,
Have you heard about this last study on pesticide (malathion) linked to ADHD?
I thought about your garden when I was reading the article. Well worth the time and, in your case, dealing with those rat packs (btw, have you been able to keep them in check?).
Re: saving the crap food boxes, I thought about that when I read your previous post but it might backfire. However, kids can’t measure time/quantities very well so you could use that to your advantage since you have a Costco membership.
Tell them that because prepared foods are very expensive (and if we spend too much money on that we can’t afford whatever else-you’ve-promised-them) you’ll have to buy wholesale and only once a month and take the kids with you when you go.
Let them choose a couple of boxes of whatever it is they both like and tell them that’s enough to last the whole month IF we supplement with some homemade foods. B]
Also, ask them to start saving a percentage of their own money towards their store-bought food. ;D
Re: instant colorful drinks, is there a way to make homemade, say, beet or grape powder or something like that to color and flavor drinks?
3 Tiffany S. // May 18, 2010 at 8:18 am
Bummed we’ll miss you speaking this week but maybe we can hop on the garden tour on Sunday. SIFF’s opening night is Thursday! That’s the greatest thing about Seattle – too many cool things to do!
4 Leslie // May 18, 2010 at 9:41 am
Loved this! So many good quotes, like “Life is too short to eat mediocre food.”
I also find that after a few days of processed (we had family visiting and I gave in on many items) I’m excited to clean up my kitchen and get back to my passion!
5 Ellen // May 18, 2010 at 10:14 am
I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve missed you. My kids buy their own junk food too. They get 25 cents per year of age. My 4yo gets gum every single time. My 8yo won’t eat meat, so Lunchables don’t lure him. Individual packets of Doritos are his siren. Makes me NUTS. My 6yo likes lollipops. Does anyone have a recipe for a fruity version of a lolly?
I LOVE the idea of saving the boxes. Genius.
6 Sandy // May 18, 2010 at 11:08 am
Luckily, my kids have no interest in Lunchables. Nastly little packaged things.
Both of my kids are picky and I feel your pain here. Short order cook syndrome is wearing thin. I am thinking about stopping this altogether and only having one option if the kids do not want the dinner: peanut butter sandwich. Maybe they will eventually get sick of peanut butter sandwiches and show interest in trying new things.
Oh, one positive step forward. Last week my daughter ate spaghetti noodles *with* the sauce. A miracle! The funny thing is that every time I get them to actually try something, they like it. It is the getting them to try that is the hard part.
7 LeAnn // May 18, 2010 at 1:05 pm
2 1/2 years ago my step son brought home a lovely girl who is now my daughter in law. She had been a young single mother with almost no support and had a very difficult time the first years of her daughters life. When they arrived, her then 3 year old was part of the bargain and we have never looked back. But the little one had not eaten much food. They had lived on fast food, bagged frozen entrees from the grocery and (yes) lunchables. The little one was completely unfamiliar with home made food from scratch. In the beginning, she wouldn’t eat what I made and mom would take her out for somthing after we finished dinner. But as Mom got used to real food, she and my son began to encourage young one to eat with us. Daughter in law has learned to cook several things on her own and young one is learning to eat more and more things. She and I have become kitchen and garden buddies. Together we’ve all planted a garden and are experimenting with local food sources. We’ve just purchased 1/2 a local cow which we will share. It’s a journey not a destination.
8 Trace Willans // May 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm
My daughter who is now 25 ate virtually nothing as a child her diet was, pasta with butter and cheese, cucumber, peas, corn, carrot, potato, chicken and tinned tuna. And there were plenty of fights to begin with but life became way easier when I stopped fighting with her and let her eat what she wanted too. Last time we went out to dinner with her she had Japanese Curry and I nearly died of shock. These days she eats practically everything as it is no longer a control issue. And she freely admits thats what it was all about.
9 Sneaux // May 18, 2010 at 5:32 pm
My Mom was the queen of package saving. We never realized we weren’t eating store-bought food half the time. We despised powered milk, so she would just mix it up in the middle of the night when we were asleep and we never knew the difference. Good luck with Pancake Boy!
10 Myrnie // May 18, 2010 at 9:24 pm
This is odd, but I am reassured that YOUR son is “pancake boy.” I felt like I was failing my oldest daughter- the list of processed foods (that we stopped buying a few years ago) that she will eat is practically limitless. Real food? Cucumbers, apples, berries, tomatoes, cheese, bread, tinned tuna, white rice, oatmeal with brown sugar (I’m seeing a lot of similarities here, heh)…oh what else….pancakes, waffles, french toast. She USED to eat eggs, but not since I started cooking the ones from our neighbor’s chickens. Bread can have butter or cinnamon-sugar. And on it goes. I KNOW you know, but it feels nice to know that someone else knows. And that this someone else ALSO purchases large quantities of milk. (She’ll often forgo an entire meal, and have nothing but milk.)
I’m serious about the “cooking bees” or what-have-you. There are so many tasks that are easy to quadruple a batch and share the work, so we all get it done.
Good to have you back!
11 admin // May 19, 2010 at 12:31 am
KFG – she was so lucky to grow up in your garden!
Auburn, I haven’t. It’s my 3.5 yo that won’t eat and logic doesn’t work with so explaining is wasted air. I’m going to try the cute bear and bunny shaped bento lunches again and we’ll see how that goes. My oldest loves beet kvass but will drink or eat just about anything (Lunchable Man).
Tiffany enjoy SIFF! I would be if I could.
Leslie – it’s like coming home after vacation, isn’t it? I’m happy as a clam in my kitchen so long as everyone isn’t complaining. It’s like they are telling me my fingerpaintings suck.
Ellen the 25 cents per age thing is brilliant but it sounds like it still drives you crazy. I know you can make hard candy at home and flavor with fruit but it’s still sugar. At least it’s YOUR sugar, right?
Sandy that is exactly where he is – he won’t try it because it’s in his control not to and not many things are in his control at this age. Noodles and sauce together though? What a week for you!
LeAnn I love that story. You are leading them right along.
Trace that gives me hope. If only I could get him to try a protein source or veggies. He ate a pea tonight from the garden for the first time. He didn’t spit it out but he didn’t want any more. I’m taking that to mean he’ll be picking them himself soon.
Sneaux that’s funny. We regularly drank powdered milk growing up too but I remember gagging on it. I wonder how much of that was the fact that I knew about it.
Myrnie misery loves company eh? I can’t wait for him to eat veg and fruit and grain and fish, if only 1 of each kind. My consolation was that he wouldn’t eat most processed foods last week either, just a few new ones so it’s not just me. He did finally eat a hotdog but then wouldn’t eat another. Stubborn.
12 Katiegirl // May 19, 2010 at 5:41 am
We went through (and are still going through) the food “fights” with both stepkids of mine. We never were short order cooks. They eat what we eat, period. They don’t have to eat everything, but they at least have to try a bite of each thing. That’s the rule. They can sit there at the table for as long as it takes to try one bite. We stopped trying to bribe with dessert. Now they get dessert if they’ve made a good attempt at eating dinner. We don’t have a “clear your plate” rule because we dont’ want to force them to eat if they’re truly full.
We’ve learned that kids sometimes just don’t eat much, and they’ll eat when they’re hungry. Also, they don’t get dessert every time. Some days we just don’t have dessert.
It is SO incredibly frustrating though when they ask what’s for dinner and say, “I dont’ like that.” UGH. They’re still young (7 and 4.5) and sometimes I just want to tell them they won’t get any dinner if they don’t what I’m making! Then I just have to try to remind myself that they’re kids and this is what kids do.
13 Anne // May 19, 2010 at 10:53 am
So glad to see you’re back, Annette. Hang in there!
Just a thought on getting the 3.5 year old to eat. It’s probably just being a preschooler who likes to show his power (I say this as a mother to a strong-willed 3 year old!). But if it is really concerning you, it might be useful to ask your pediatrician for a referral to an occupational therapist to see if there is some strategies for getting him to get used to different textures — especially if you’re worried about his growth rate. I usually find our society’s rush to medicalize everything unnecessarily but it might give you peace of mind.
It’s so hard to know what to do with kids and eating. I grew up having free reign to drink coke and snack on mystic mint cookies whenever I wanted. My mother also always served a substantial, sit-down, balanced dinner. I never was forced to eat anything I didn’t want (mostly any kind of vegetable). When I turned into an adult and started cooking, I discovered I loved vegetables and all kinds of food! I don’t really desire junk food anymore.
My husband on the other hand was never allowed sugared cereal and had more stringent rules about finishing dinner growing up. He’s a balanced eater today, but definitely has a soda habit and likes to eat candy.
There was a fascinating Scientific American show on PBS many years ago, hosted by Alan Alda, which showed an experiment about kids’ eating habits. It found that kids whose parents restricted certain foods like ice cream tended to overeat those foods when given the opportunity. The kids whose parents didn’t restrict those foods didn’t.
I don’t have any pat answers… I just appreciate your efforts to chronicle your sustainable eating. I always come away inspired. Thanks.
14 admin // May 20, 2010 at 11:36 pm
Katiegirl I liked the comment from the strike post that it’s mom’s job to let those whines fall on deaf ears. I need to hear that more often because those whines drive me crazy!
Anne this is what I fear – that they will go crazy when they leave the house. Thank you for mentioning that study. I hadn’t heard of it but suspected as much. We only eat dessert on Fridays and don’t typically have treats around. Maybe we need more of that!
He is fine with textures though – he loves bananas which I never buy because they don’t even grow on the mainland. He is suddenly trying new things this week (just a few but that is huge!) so perhaps this strike was a good thing. Now he’s realizing that not all new food is bad, in fact he may be missing out on some good things like jello. ;p I’m so glad you are here!
15 Sense of Home // May 21, 2010 at 9:19 am
That lunchable story was great! I tried them once and that was enough for me. Funny how our tastes change when we get used to homemade food.
16 admin // May 21, 2010 at 9:29 am
Sense of Home – last night we had the tater tots we bought while I was on strike. He took one bite then looked at me and asked why it didn’t taste like potato. Score 1 for real food! MWAH HA HA.
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